one of my worst days ever

This is my blog...and I started this blog so I could one day show my children what life was like when they were young. And it is fun for me and D to look back on to remember the fun memories and trips we have taken with our family. And it would be so easy for me to bypass the bad days and just write about the good days and pretend everyday was perfect. But it isn't...life isn't perfect...I am not perfect. So I am being honest with myself and writing about the bad days...so we can see that we survived the bad days and as a reminder to try and not repeat them.

I believe every mother has days where they have "mother's guilt". But today is absolutely one of the worst days I have ever had as a mother. Cabin fever really started to hit today. We just are not stay-at-home kind of people. I like it when our calendar is filled...and it usually is. We have playgroups, school, tennis and a whole bunch of other activities that usually keep us busy Monday though Friday from the time we wake up until the time we go to bed. The cabin fever really started to work on my nerves and I just started my day on edge. And I took it out on The Mayor.

We ventured out today to run some errands for his upcoming birthday party and then met up with Meega and Bennett to walk around an outdoor mall and enjoy the weather. Cut ahead a little bit to the meltdown. The Mayor had a tantrum for ONE HOUR straight. It was a horrible downward spiral of him not feeling 100%, being tired and not getting his way. And I really tried to keep my cool. D and I have made the commitment to discipline and parent with a balance of love and control and to discipline without yelling. It is so much more effective to keep your cool when discipling your child instead of screaming while trying to discipline. But today I lost it. I think I had made it about 45 minutes before the wheels came off. I yelled...no, if I am going to be truly honest, I screamed. I screamed so loudly that I actually gave myself an instant headache. And I yelled so loudly at The Mayor that I made Love Bug cry...and I did this twice. And then slammed every door from the garage up to his bedroom. Thankfully the second we got home, The Mayor went down for a nap and is still sleeping. And I have had to restrain myself for the past 2 1/2 hours from going into his room and laying down and cuddling with him. And the second he wakes up you better believe that kid is going to get some serious apologies, hugs and kisses.

Today is a day where I am thankful there is only 24 hours. This day will be over in less than 8 hours and tomorrow is a new day. I get a do-over.